AML: Mom, Is My Daddy Being Brave?

Andy hit me with this one the other day.  It took some time to absorb it. 

On the way home from daycare one evening last week, Layla (my 3 year old) asked Andy, "Is my daddy being brave at the hospital?" 

I think Andy's replay was something simple like "Yes, daddy's being very brave."

It never stops surprising me how much my little ones absorb and understand about our situation and this battle with Leukemia.  So it made me think more... Does a 3 year old know what it is to be brave?  Do I?

So I put down a few thoughts, maybe Layla will read these some day and come to know me better.  Maybe I will reflect and remember some things about myself.

Little Layla, you asked if I was being brave....

• If you meant am I scared, but ok with that, then yes, I am being brave
• If you meant am I going to try my hardest not knowing the outcome, then yes, I am being brave
• If you meant am I going to smile when it would be easier to cry, then yes, I am being brave
• If you meant am I going to cry when I need to, then yes, I am being brave
• If you meant am I going to hold on to he things I have instead of those I have lost, then yes, I am being brave
• If you meant am I going to stay connected to others when it would be easier to hide, then yes, I am being brave
• If you meant am I ok sharing my struggles with friends and loved ones, then yes, I am being brave
• If you meant am I comfortable knowing you will be provided for, even though I don't know how, then yes, I am being brave
• If you meant do I fear not knowing what is to come for my little ones... well, daddy's working on this one...
• If you meant am I willing to walk behind a cow without fear of being farted on, well then little Layla, you've got my sense of humor.